Random Thoughts While Drivng

Road signs (or signage, as some might say) are sometimes entertaining. Sometimes they are puzzling, misleading, or just plain irritating. People who had to endure working with me know that I am fussy about the written word. I like spare, concise, simple writing. On my computer at work, I had a long list of words and expressions that make my hair hurt. They include, but are in no way limited to: utilize, leverage (a verb, meaning to use), granularity (meaning detail), percentage (meaning percent), migrate (a verb, meaning to change), and optimize. So when I read a book, or the paper, or a pamphlet, or an advertisement, poorly worded or grammatically incorrect phrases catch my attention. I can't spell, and I don't know where the quotation marks go, but the words are very important to me.

Signs warning about something are all over everything these days. No one reads them. I know no one reads them because some don't make any sense, yet they're posted for years. For example, there are signs on the beltway around Washington, DC that say "Speed Enforced by Aircraft". Ok. How, exactly do aircraft enforce the speed? Do they drop bombs on the cars? And do they shoot those going too slowly, too? It doesn't say "Speed Limits..."

In West Virginia construction zone a sign read "Maintain a Persistent Lane". Huh? What does one have to do for a lane so that it develops the character trait of persistency? And if you're whizzing by at a safe 55 mph, so that the aircraft won't drop bombs on you, how the hell will you have time to nurture the lane.

We took a toll road in Pennsylvania last week that was in such poor condition that we wanted to ask for a refund. If the road is allowed to deteriorate, why do you still have to pay for driving on it?

On a completely different subject (from daughter, Ann) - why do the women beach-volleyball players have to wear tiny bikinis and the men get to wear t-shirt and shorts?

The news commentators keep referring to the Chicago 8. Since when did the Chicago 7 become the Chicago 8? Who is the 8th person? Mayor Daley? Let me know.